The ULEZ Terror

With the ULEZ expansion zone rolling out across Greater London today – our CGBeebies reporters have been live on the ground listening to the concerns of ordinary people who will be impacted by a measure that will probably destroy all known life on Earth. 

Charles from Dorset: 

“My ancestor Kevin de Neufmarché came over with the Duke of Normandy in 1066 and for a thousand years that followed my people could do pretty much what they wanted. Now Sadiq is imposing a stealth tax on the Bentley. I have domestic staff to pay, seven children in boarding schools, a private jet and a castle off the coast of Italy to maintain and the idea that I could afford £12.50 when the chauffeur takes me up to London once in a while to visit the club is utterly preposterous.” 

Susan from Bromely: 

“I’m not wearing a nappy on my face. I will not comply. No way am I having a digital vaccine passport or an experimental poison death jab. And to the people that say that’s got nothing to do with the ULEZ – WAKE UP! Do some research – look up ‘Soros-ULEZ-Nappy-WEF-WHO’ on Google and then you’ll see who’s right.” 

Mike from Enfield: 

“I don’t live in the ULEZ zone but my work is one meter inside it. Yes there’s a car park on the other side of the road but that’s not the point. I have parked in the one that is now one meter inside the ULEZ zone for six months and it will be over my dead body that I will stop doing that. They can lock me up as far as I’m concerned.” 

KnightsoftheCrusade1917920 on X (formerly twitter) 

“Uncontrolled immigration by the invaders caused this. This is now ‘officially’ that. An invasion. And because they are stealing our air by breathing it there’s not enough to go around. It’s not climate change – it’s foreign people breathing. Maybe instead of taxing the very poorest in society and driving about in his private gold-plated range Rover, ‘Sad-iq Khant’ could do something about the billions of young men with iphones who are coming over on inflatable rafts every single day and replacing our indigenous people. ULEZ is the final nail in the coffin for me and I’m moving to Spain as soon as I can sort out the visa. I just want to leave and take back control of my life.” 

Sarah in Croydon: 

“I was actually slightly concerned about the ULEZ expansion, but then I looked it up on my phone and saw that my car was compliant and that something like 90% of people won’t be affected and that there’s a scrappage scheme. If I didn’t know any better I’d think that there was a conspiracy of right-wing news channels and politicians to frighten everyone and make a huge deal out of what is essentially an attempt to improve air quality in the capital.” 

More fear…. coming up in the next half hour

(As told to Otto English)

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